Who really died?

Who really died?

I never saw
The light of day.
Black descended,
Of a kind
I knew not,
Then no more.

How did I know you?

All I knew was you.
You flavored my becoming,
Your genes, my genes,
Your feelings,
Emotional rhythms,
Touching me
By blood connection.
All this,
And then no more.

How did I feel you?

Warmth, gentle rocking
To and fro.
I felt you,
Heart-sounds surrounding me,
Pressing me,
Impressing me.
You whooshed at times
And hummed.
And then no more.

How did I leave you?

I knew anguish
As once I knew you,
Your blood feeding mine,
I knew as parting,
Leaving behind mother
As gift withdrawn,
And bid goodbye.
Too young for endings,
Too soon to die,
And then no more.

How now and by and by?

Sorrow and black
And then the Light.
New Day, as womb,
Enfolded me.
Life ended
To begin again.
And I behold
The Face of God.
I live,
And still I wait for you,
Knowing in love,
There is yet more.

Who really died?

©2013 Joann Nelander

The light of day.
Black descended,
Of a kind
I knew not,
Then no more.

How did I know you?

All I knew was you.
You flavored my becoming,
Your genes, my genes,
Your feelings,
Emotional rhythms,
Touching me
By blood connection.
All this,
And then no more.

How did I feel you?

Warmth, gentle rocking
To and fro.
I felt you,
Heart-sounds surrounding me,
Pressing me,
Impressing me.
You whooshed at times
And hummed.
And then no more.

How did I leave you?

I knew anguish
As once I knew you,
Your blood feeding mine,
I knew as parting,
Leaving behind mother
As gift withdrawn,
And bid goodbye.
Too young for endings,
Too soon to die,
And then no more.

How now and by and by?

Sorrow and black
And then the Light.
New Day, as womb,
Enfolded me.
Life ended
To begin again.
And I behold
The Face of God.
I live,
And still I wait for you,
Knowing in love,
There is yet more.

Who really died?

©2013 Joann Nelander